have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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