The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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