i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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