Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Pants 0. Shit 1.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
