I think i peed on brittanys purse
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
