I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
