They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
