If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
