Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
