I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
