I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
