Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
