I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
