If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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