Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
