Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.