I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?