Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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