Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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