just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
