He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
