Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
