She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
