he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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