would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
