Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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