So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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