I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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