Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
