HIV tests are more positive than that guy
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
