I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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