Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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