i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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