nut hugger
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I could fuck to npr.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize