took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
