So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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