Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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