i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
