I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
