Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
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