thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
