i permit you to call me
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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