Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
we should paint friendship bongs
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