how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
