Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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