I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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