I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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