do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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