Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
