i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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