The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
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masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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