I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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