Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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