Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
