pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
