escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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