people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
