i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I wish there were birth control emojis
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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